November Rain

It’s raining outside. It’s not the regular monsoon anymore, it’s the November rain. No, not the Guns N’ Roses one, which we once listened to on repeat mode. But today, it kind of makes me feel like I need someone, just like everybody needs someone. Actually, I only need you. I have had enough alone time, I had asked for from you, for myself. I have come to realize that I am incomplete without your presence in my life. I need your guidance, when I am lost, just like I am right now. I am trying hard to deal with the situations life has put me in. I close my eyes and think of what solution would you provide me with for the situations life throws at me, one after another, I try to implement it as well. But you know what? I fail miserably. At times, I fail so bad, that it hurts. I feel like crying, but my tears have dried out. I feel numb. Now that we are not together, I feel, I had made myself too dependent on you in the last few years of our togetherness that my alone time haunts me every now and then. I cannot tell you about this, because you have moved on and I haven’t. I am still stuck in the happy places and memories of us. Was it easy for you to move on in just a month’s time? Why is it not for me, then? I thought you were mine, only mine and I could rest my head on your shoulder, speak my heart out to you. You did not mind when I would abuse someone in front of you. You were the one I would eagerly wait to meet so that I could bitch to you about the people I disliked. You listened to every rant of mine patiently. I don’t know why did I get influenced by FRIENDS series so much that I asked for a break and have some alone ‘me’ time. I think I took the ‘we were on a break’ joke way too seriously not realizing you would find someone else and move on so easily during the break. Now, when I need somebody, I don’t have anyone. Neither my friends nor you. It’s true, nothing lasts forever. This November rain reminds me of the coincidence that it was in the month of November in 2004 that we had first met. It was raining back then, too. Remember that year the movie Hum Tum had released and there was this dialogue ‘February me baarish’ that we had modified to ‘November me baarish’ for ourselves as we could relate to it a lot. Gosh, this November rain, along with the song has refreshed so many memories. The song has become my favorite all over again and I am surely going to listen to it on a repeat mode like good old times. At this moment, just the way I am thinking of you, are you thinking of me, or these memories, or the song? My heart is secretly hoping that you are, whereas my mind knows that you’re not.



P.S. I don't feel like adding pictures to this one. Let this post be plain and simple. :)